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The Eventual

by AmberHours

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1.
The Eventual 02:05
The days Weeks Months And years All contributed To the eventual man I now am. No longer a boy, I said goodbye to my youth. But farewell Doesn’t mean so much When it also means hello To more of the same sorrows. I’m not chasing death, Just auditioning for it. Just auditioning.
2.
Warehoused 02:51
The warehouse. I’m tired and cold. I’m paid for my troubles But not enough. I’d like to say that the pain is righteous. I’d like to say that the pain was righteous. I can’t feel my hands any more. I walk To and from my sorrows, Only slightly enriched.
3.
Flashback. Standing by a pond in winter 1987, The land around me is scarred. The music I’m listening to is terrible Broken branches and felled trees Litter my view. The land around me is scarred. It’s the first oblivion I ever knew. The first I know; It’s the first oblivion I ever knew.
4.
Group Think 02:19
Your thoughts are not our own, So the silence grows. Stop moving. Stop. I’m in your place now. Stop. I’m in your place now. I’m in your place. And where would I be then? Who would I tell? And then where would I be? And then where would we be?
5.
The Teller 02:37
Money and reputation, Shame and assignation: I am the Teller. I know the stories, Though I’ll never finish a sentence. I wrote stories. Some of them you’ve seen; Some of them you’ve heard; Some you know by heart. Some you know by heart. They’re the exception. If you’re going there, If you go there, Where your memories lived, Where your memories live, You’ll find nothing but lies. You’ll find nothing.
6.
I Should Be 02:44
Standing in the middle of an empty road In the dead of night, I sway with the howls around me. Waiting for lights to break the darkness And to decide whether or not I see tomorrow. I should be working, But I can’t stand the heat. I should be working. Instead, my hopes retreat. I should be working. I should be working now Except that life is not that neat. I should be working now And that’s the thought that repeats. I should be working now, But wanting isn’t enough. I should be working now, Yet circumstances have me cuffed. I should be working now But I don’t have such luck.
7.
Barbed wire for memory And rusty pliers for the future To cut loose. There’s no way to cut yourself free Or that’s what I thought she said. There’s no way to cut loose And that’s my mistake. That’s what friendship is for. Or that’s what I thought she said And that’s my mistake.
8.
The next time you feel love, Remember this moment. Remember the cold you couldn’t shift, Even as the brightest lights Illuminate her turning back That one last time. The next time you feel love - That one last time - Remember this moment. The steps that followed are distant But they’re still heard; Around each corner, Their echoes resound. The next time you feel love - That one last time - Remember this moment. Remember this moment Even as the brightest lights Illuminate her turning back.
9.
London Tales 02:20
Tales are waiting in London, In amongst the streets And bustling byways, They await you, Just as they would anywhere else. So what’s the difference? These are stories you can read like bad fiction, Moments you pay for To remove all doors and barriers. The guest list is closed. Those urban forest views are replaced With concrete And a crime scene.
10.
NoCall 01:50
Don’t bother calling me out If you’re distant enough to need to; I won’t know your voice In a crowded space And there’s no chance I’ll see your face. If I don’t stop walking As your shouts continue, Any time we’ve shared Has been forgotten And those days are past. Move on like me And look to the future again. Whoever you’ve become, I have definite knowledge: Someone else Has won my life.

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Synth stabs and staccato vocals slicing at the commercial sounds you never heard.

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released September 26, 2018

When words and music surpass themselves to become nothing.

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AmberHours London, UK

A name from an old song. Old habits dying loudly.

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